Inescapable awesomeness

 

It’s been a while since my last blog entry, and I thought tonight was a good time to sit down and write a bit; I’m in an awesome mood, I feel like writing and shit is going just SO WELL lately that it’s hard not to talk about it. I always knew that when my luck changed and/or my hard work finally kicked in, things were gonna look up but I’m surprised at just how much momentum I’m getting from all this. It’s incredible.

How have I been feeling, you ask? Well! I’ve had a couple of setbacks, but as I’m learning I need to focus not on the past but on the future, and build shit from the ground up. No other way.

My friend Robert loaned me the loot to upgrade my cell phone (I’m with Public Mobile and they’re switching to a new technology base and network) and now I am the proud owner of a Smartphone. Can you believe it? I actually own a Smartphone! My tablet is in the pawn shop (I got a little desperate for some extra cash) but, in the meantime, my Smartphone makes an admirable substitute. With Wi-Fi enabled I’m able to use my home internet to surf the web, even while I’m working. My work apps “take over” the internet and don’t allow me to surf, so using the tablet (or, for now my Smartphone) is really convenient. Definitely a learning curve here, but even so I’m thrilled.

I’ve been feeling really “well” lately, and I attribute that in good part to the use of the CPAP respirator. I was diagnosed with severe 0bstructive sleep apnea. The muscles in my throat apparently sag when I’m sleeping and block my airway, causing disruptions in my sleep. I used to wake up MORE tired than when I went to sleep! With the respirator (it pumps positive pressure through a tube and a mask that covers my nose and mouth) I find I sleep incredibly deeply. It took a long time to get used to the mask, but now that I’m comfortable with it I find I wouldn’t sleep without the machine. Sometimes I wake up and take the mask off (I don’t remember doing it) but usually I wake up with sleep time to spare and put it back on. ANY deep sleep I can get makes me feel better. I was so fatigued and tired before. It’s like night and day. Just today my friend Robert took me to the healthcare place to get a new hose, mask and filters.

There are still a couple of challenges to work through. Not stuff I feel comfortable writing on here, but let’s just say I have an overdue appointment to get a certain matter sorted out, and I’ve got to catch up on my YMCA membership. I let it lapse and I owe a lot of money, and I’ve got to correct that.

Anyways, that’s it for now. All Good Things!

Come together…

 

Things went well at the gig. I brought over (as promised) Sibelius 7 and Finale 2012 (music score production programs) and he was THRILLED! He was so happy he hugged me lol. He also had a chance to go over my work... and there was a few problems. He wasn't upset, he explained that he knows a lot about music and he was happy to explain what I had done wrong and help me correct my errors. I felt a little embarrassed; he is paying me good money to whip his sheet music into shape. I explained that, despite the errors, the music was alphabetized and sorted by instrument, and he agreed it was a major step forward. Certainly a lot better than the chaos of stacks and piles of random shit. And we made a good deal of headway with the widows and orphans pile.

All in all, a fabulously productive and happy day.

I am starting to build a "base" of opportunities and resources from which to draw these amazing gigs. I have another paying gig tomorrow with a different chap, and I'm trying to line some stuff up for next week. Finally, after almost a year living on my own and in the downtown core, I can actually say I'm coming out of my shell, building up a social network and making home feel like home.

All Good Things.

Amazing!

 

So, let me recap here. I woke up extra-special early today. I went out for lunch. I went to a paying gig. And I managed to put in a couple of hours slinging chicken for the masses. What makes today better than most? I didn't feel fatigued today. I felt reasonably well-rested and energetic. What have I done that's different, because I can't fathom it. Perhaps the amount of walking I do, per day, is positively affecting my health?

Whatever's "wrong" with me today, I hope I can... keep it up!

Tomorrow is a "Greggers Day". I'm going to hop the streetcar and visit Little India for a buffet lunch, then back home to mundane things, like paying bills and grocery shopping. I need tings. And I need to work more hours slinging chicken. I've got to clamp down, grin and bear it. I simply cannot continue like I have been. Fuck what I think, the client must be ready to fire my ass for lack of performance. I need to get on the ball and start making some serious things happen!

Way too fast

 

My cat Zoe never ceases to make me smile. I cleaned her "poopy tray" (her litterbox lol)... It's funny, but she always seems to let me know when she wants the box cleaned. She'll sit in the bathroom and meow at me as I pass. Then I look in the litterbox and realise that she probably wants a change. Whenever I say "num nums" she knows it's time for wet food. I'll say num nums, and she'll meow back ...at me, every time. It's like this conversation: "Num Nums!", "Meeeow!", "Num Nums", "Meeeow" lol

I've got to clean the house today, but it's still early yet. I got started on the bathroom and I'll stick with it at least that and the kitchen today. It's gonna be a long haul, but I need a day like today to settle things down. Shit's going way too fast for me right now, and I can't seem to get caught up with it all.

All Good Things, everyone.

Wishful thinking

 

Sometimes I have a lot of difficulty expressing my feelings, not because they're complicated or I can't discern reality from wishful thinking... More like, I see things all too clearly and the brutality of that truth hurts me. But it is what it is, and no amount of wishful thinking will change it. Don't get what I want? I pine and agonize over it. Get what I want? Then it's an horrible mistake. But even so, I can be grateful that I wasn't sucked into the void, and my feelings die here. Please, dear God, not that! It's better this way.

At some point I have to go out and shop. Eyes of cloud and feet of lead. Ah, fuck it, I'm gonna go to the liquor store and get shitfaced.

Good golly…

 

YAY! I did all my errands and I only forgot one item: coffee cream. I can probably pick it up at the variety store (for double the price lol) but I ain't walking back to Cabbagetown to pick it up from No Frills. No way.

So now the REAL work lies ahead of me: I have to do laundry and whip this environment into shape with a right good cleaning job. That means a whole lot of vacuuming, scrubbing and mopping. I actually feel tired in the way that one feels after a good workout; ...I walked an incredible amount today (for me, anyways lol) and I am enjoying sitting here relaxing.

No rest for the wicked.

I hope everyone is enjoying a stellar day. You really can make each day fantastic. You just need to dream up one good thing you can do for yourself to make you happy. Create your own joy. Nobody else owes you that. It comes from within. All Good Things.

A great day

 

I gotta tell you, Bahara Cuisine House on Carlton (at Sherbourne) is the BEST Pakistani/Indian restaurant I've ever eaten at. Period. You can get a great meal (salad and entrée) for $10.00. The food was absolutely outstanding. The spinach puree was spicy and grease-free, and the aloo ghobi (potato and cauliflower) was hot and flavourful. The lamb curry was divine.

I'm going to shave my head tonight and probably go to bed really early. I'm thinking 10pm. I've had yet another spectacular day. I did not one, but TWO jobs today and got a desperate cash injection, for which I'm very grateful. Tomorrow? I'll be doing laundry and cleaning. The house is still a disaster area. Neighbours came by the house and I warned them it was messy, then I go to their house tonight and their place was just as bad as mine. It must be that time of the month for chaotic housekeeping lol.

All Good Things.